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December 2017

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Comments

kellincatty

It was so artistic... then it made me giggle at the end... A good work. I like it.

(and I kind of wish I liked poetry more than I do - I mean I like it- but I want to love it... And so far, the poets that I love are ee cummings and Yevtushenko. Have you read any of the latter? I think you'd dig it.

kelly of

Hey - if you want, I'll send you the big "light and water" file. It will make me happy to send it....

DF

Please do! It will make my screensaver ever so happy.

BTW, last year when I posted this you liked it ***except for*** the ending. So maybe I have improved the poem. That would make me happy.

I will check out Yevtushenko. Thanks for the tip.

Cucorbia

i had never driven past cotton fields until this weekend. i like your language of it. che bella.

kellincatty

I do like the poem - I'm into those crazy endings... Ok - My favorite Yevtushenko Line: "I want art to be as diverse as myself..." I don't know if it's cocky - or a real plea for something deeper... so I'm voting for deeper.

Connie

The shift at the end is a treat... your play with language throughout is deLIGHT!

~connie

DF

Thanks, all. And Kelly, the Yevtushenko line reminds me of this NPR story I heard on the road of this musician (Jesca Hoop?) who said "We are not just one person inside us. We are many people. I like to put all those people in my music."

moominpapa

Wonderful! Great ending, and a number of memorable sounds/images:

"paint pot of latex sun" (I can smell the fumes, which works so well with the lines that follow about the pulp mill.)

"waiflet puffs of cotton"

And the way some metaphors are carried long enough... As in the second stanza, with stubble, skin, bruise, rash, and even the word "flaring" (before you know what's flaring) which made me think of nostrils due to the accumulated weight of the images. Even the choice of tree species to get in one more body word - clever.

And words I'm not sure I've ever heard (and which I had to look up): waiflet, electrum (lovely choice, that one).

And I also just noticed that your ending is not so sudden after all - we;ve been set up with several stinky words and images before it.

Bravo.

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