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BHL season begins

Bjaward 3, Bevinlunz 1: Yesterday, Bevinlunz lost their first game of the season at home 3-1 to Bjaward. But they lost something even more important in that game. Center Sikke Pfelward went down with what team doctors later diagnosed as a high ankle sprain after trying to keep up with super-youth Jelle Sudmaas on one of his express train runs to the goal. Pfelward is expected to miss at least three games. The Sudmaas brothers, Jelle and Joris, combined for two goals and two assists. After the game, Jelle apologized for skating so fast. “I will try to tone it down in future games,” said he.

Summary

Scoring

Bjaward 1 1 1- 3

Bevinlunz 0 0 1- 1

Goals: Bjaward: Jelle Sudmaas from Joris Sudmaas and Kejls Lachten; Jelle Sudmaas from Joris Sudmaas and Uwe Geelt; Jens Te Vries from Michel Hoosenfujr.

Bevinlunz: Gerrit Visser from Klaes Andersfvolk and Ejtel Pujbinga.

 Goalminders: Bjaward, Aurelius Aequandio; Bevinlunz, Marcel Truumaas.

 

Te Staff 7, Tarlunz 2: Sherm Reinhardt led Te Staff in their home opener with a goal on his first shot in the league, plus two assists. Uwe Sipken added two goals and a pair of assists. Columnists in Staff Borsch newspapers are already wondering if it is a good idea to let a North American into the league; could they all be better than Borschic players? Reinhardt was not a star in the NHL; what would happen if the stars came here to play? Would the league lose its Borschic quality? First, we must see if Reinhardt can keep this up.

 

Summary Scoring

Tarlunz 0 0 2- 2

Te Staff 2 2 3- 7

Goals: Te Staff: Sherm Reinhardt, unassisted; Uwe Sipken from Sherm Reinhardt and Chrujstoff Anselm; Hauke Sybrandy from Jens Kuulwipp and Michel Jaaregrujn; Uwe Sipken from Tor Dulsehaamer; Chrujstoff Anselm from Uwe Sipken and Sherm Reinhardt; Sigurd WIlbanks from Ruuduj Hertz; Pujtr Grujg from Rejner Muurelfujt and Wils Bifvrau.

 

Goals: Tarlunz: Thierry Purlieu from Uwe Glittenbeerk; Rokus Ponderbeeter from Uwe Glittenbeerk and Karolus Frujt.

 

Goalminders: Te Staff, Norbert Grimm; Tarlunz, Lubert Veeststaff, Dragoon Camarata.


Sherm Reinhardt, American hero

by Kadmus Greningen
columnist, "Brandy and Pucks"
Te Borscher Sportteelegraaf 

Cashoth Pernoth, the normally taciturn, Zimrothian goalminder who backs up our beloved Norbert Grimm, had several words to describe our foreigner Sherman Reinhardt's performance on Saturday night.

"So good, as if, an arrow from Bannar's quiver," he said, the corners of his mouth moving up slightly in what is for most Zimrothians an expression of pure joy.

Bannar, the national hero of Zimrothian saga, once dispatched a Zimrothian dragon with three arrows-- one to the eye, one to the throat, one to the big toe. Characteristically, as Zimrothian saga does have a kind of wryness to it, it was the one in the toe that killed it.

This night, Reinhardt's very first shot taken in the Borschland Hockey League pierced slew perfectly-dubbed Tarlunz netter Dragoon Camarata with a Bannarian arrow.

Reinhardt lost his first face-off to begin the game. There is no shame in that. But he skated after his lost puck like a man whose sweetheart's engagement band has been stolen. Extending his stick to intercept a defenseman's pass, he managed to lift the puck into the air. When it came down, he loosed a shot worthy of a mythical bowman.

With the final score a prodigious 7 goals to 2, Reinhardt's heroism would not mean the salvation of Te Staff; there were many goals to go around tonight against our near neighbors, our Tarlunz Ponders. But may it be a harbinger of the future.

Every year our venerable and venerated team is expected to win the Bloomenstaaf Cup of our league's regular season championship, and every year-- it seems-- we never take the easy route up that mountain.

This year, with the addition of the large and fast-skating man from the mists, the "Merikanische"-- the outside world is none too real to us Borschers-- it is possible that there will be a new way of doing things. Maybe less fingernail-chewing, but Staff Borsch has enough tension on its own without having to resort to more brandy to keep the nerves steady during a tough match.

That venerable old bottle of Te Staff, which has been dispensing championship vintages often and often, now contains some new and strong stuff. Call it Vintage Sherman Reinhardt, or "Sherm" to his colleagues.

We all look forward to sampling more of this stuff.


Borschland Hockey League: predicted finishes

While the 2012-13 NHL season is on hold, fans can follow the mythical Borschland Hockey League.

This is a continuation of the season preview from the last post. In this portion, we will predict the teams finishes and tell you why.

Note: There is no such thing as a playoff in Borschland. The regular season is everything.

1. Te Staff: Te Staff is always the favorite, but this year has more question marks than usual. Last year's squad finished 9th, and many of the same players are back again this year. As well, they have added NHL lockout refugee Sherm Reinhardt, who's big and skilled and projects as first line center, but who is completely untested in the league. Nevertheless, Te Staff gathered nearly 85% of the votes for league winner this year.

2. Matexipar: The Iron Sticks are perennial top five finishers, and led by their outstanding goalie Heiko Moordfors, who last year posted a 1.56 goals-against average, they look to be Te Staff's primary adversary this year. Large, aggressive, and fast, these impressive steel town skaters may just run away with the Bloomenstaaf Cup this year.

3. Bjaward: With the third most championships in the league, Bjaward is always a strong contender. The Sudmass brothers, Jelle and Joris, are the two starting fist line wings for Bjaward and are two of the best skaters in the league.

4. Mechen: This university city recieved a single vote in the preseason poll, and some consider them a dark horse to win the championship. It will have to be the young center who just graduated from the university, Wujbe Kappe, because the rest of Mechen is experienced, but aging.

5. Onatten: They finished a disappointing eighth last year, but a trade of cash and three players to cash-starved Holtzlund brought them a two-way defenseman that some consider one of the top three players in the league, Tjaard Meern. The organization hopes that he can give them another championship or at least a top three finish.

6. Bevinlunz: This team was looking for an identity last year. They hope they have found it in aging superstar Sikke Pfelward, one of the best to play the game.

7. Rjaward: They are looking to goalie Rokus Osthav'n, who posted the best save percentage last year, to carry the team. Goal-scoring is a problem that will doom them to too many wasted performances by Osthav'n.

8. Atterische: A team full of middling talent, Atterische typically is conservative during the offseason. They made few big moves, but they will get team captain Dujwe Lugbach back from an MCL tear that kept him out for the last three weeks of the season last year, plummeting them to a thirteenth place finish.

9. Domatische: The word is that coach Ejlert Onderkammer will lose his job if the team doesn't finish in the top five. They made a few gambles, including adding high-salary player Lourens Nordhall to make an attempt to be competitive.

10. Tarlunz: The team lost a couple of players due to free agency, another retired, and yet another was lost in preseason practice and could be out for the year. It's up to goalie Lubbert Veeststaff to keep the team together. They'll win games against the middle of the league, but they won't compete for a championship.

11. Lojren: Te Lughaus figures to have another disappointing year. Klaes Dujvenhoven is one of the best defenseman in the league, but he can't carry the team.

12. Sajbell: Their attendance has dropped off, and they don't generate enough revenue to stay competitive. Japik Wejdhojm is the lone bright spot on this team, with 30 goals last year.

13. Wrischer: The youngest teams in the league, with an average age of 23, they'll lose a lot of games due to inexperience, but they have promising talent. 20 year old center Sjoerd Bommelansch and 21 year old left wing Kaj Ganesmund anchor a first line full of promise.

14. Holtzlund: Having traded away Tjaard Meern, Holtzlund will look to use the extra cash to rebuild this year. Zujt Jaagerhorn, the best player recieved in the trade, was fifth in the league last year in assists.

15. Menesanne: Their ceiling is probably ten wins this year, but young goalie Wob Ramsbeck has potential and should keep them in a few games.

16. Sichebache: Another last place finish seems imminent, but they should have more wins than last year's three. Sujmen Meetterheerst was fourth in the league in shots attempted last year, but twenty-third in goals scored.


Follow BHL during NHL lockout

The NHL lockout has put the 2012-13 season on hold-- briefly, hockey fans hope.

So for now, if you want to follow ice hockey, you have to look elsewhere.

That's where this blog comes to the rescue.

The mythical Borschland Hockey League is entering its 75th season with a full schedule of 30 games. Follow your favorite teamin their quest for the fabled Bloomenstaaf (Flowering Branch) Cup.

Every day as long as the lockout continues, there will be a post on this blog offering news, scores, player profiles, games, and other fun.

Here's a thumbnail profile of all 16 teams in the Borschland Hockey League.

Click on the links to the side for more information on Borschland and the novel Skater in a Strange Land, to be published in October by Plantin-Moretus Press.